Thursday, October 31, 2013

As we grow up we learn that the one person who was never supposed to let us down probably will. 
You'll have your heart broken and you'll  break other's hearts
You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them and you'll forget that time is flying by.
 Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances
You just need to live your life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off.
 Speak it out, be sincere and say it with conviction and never forget where you came from, cause when you do, it's a long road home...
--Unknown




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Friday, October 25, 2013

Suicide

I had my first dealing with a suicide threat.

It happened just the other day. It was almost instinctive. Go into help mode. What can I do? How can I rescue? What do I say?

I didn't realize the aftermath. I didn't realize how I would be affected by it. Shaken up.

Growing up, I had my ups and downs, but for the most part I was a generally happy kid. A happy teenager. I had great friends, I was smart, I did extra curricular activities, I had a job. Life was good. I didn't have a perfect life. I had a few family struggles. I was bullied a bit. But I never let it take over my life. I was always positive and only focused on what I was blessed with. I have been blessed.

I had friends who had struggles. None of them threatened to take their own life. I knew it was a thing. I knew teenagers my age dealt with depression and suicidal thoughts. I knew kids struggling with bullying, sexuality, family problems, school problems, relationship problems would take their own life. But never did I think it would become a "thing".

After graduating, I heard a kid from my high school, who was well loved and well known, took his life because of the inner struggles he had and though he had a great group of friends, he felt lost, sad and alone. All I thought was I can't imagine feeling like there is absolutely no way out other than death. 

I wish I could say I understand. But I don't. It breaks my heart daily that these thoughts are so strong in so many of teenagers lives today. That feeling of "it would be so much easier to just be done" is huge and living inside an unimaginable amount of our teenagers. The pressures of growing up and getting through high school are huge in this day and age and it seems like more and more kids feel lost and helpless.

I walked away from the situation feeling scared, sad and hopeless. I just want to cry out to these kids, YOU ARE LOVED. They are so loved. We are so loved. You are so loved. I just want to shake them and make them look up and see hope, love, faith, joy in immeasurable amounts. I just want to make love a tangible and visible thing to hand out and spread all over their lives so they can just see it flowing through them and into them. But I can't. The only thing I can do is talk to them. And share this:

No matter who you are, what you did, where you're from...  you are LOVED. By me, by your teachers, by your friends, by your elders, by GOD. YOU ARE LOVED. 

There is hope.

John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life"

Monday, October 21, 2013

#LT14ROAR

I know, I know, I know... It's been forever. I'M SORRY OKAY?! I realized just how long it has been when I looked back at my last post and noticed it was from June 22.... ellllll this is awkward.

Let's start fresh, shall we? Okay, great! Here we go...

Well, it's been over a month since I started my journey with Lifeteams.

Because it has been so long, so much has happened and it would take me a novel to explain all that is going on (my bad). But here are some snippets:
- All day silence with God (brilliant, if you don't do this already I strongly encourage you to)
- Ministry observation
-Embarrassment
- Repelling
- Hikes
- People helping classes
- Placement with high school kids and after school programs
- Mentoring
- Retreat to Chilliwack Lake
- Worship jams
- Book club
- Notebook watching (and crying)
- Small groups
- Leaf jumping and hill rolling
- Coffee
- Naps

Okay, now that we're all caught up let's get to the nitty gritty. Mondays are our days to do an outdoor activity. Today's activity was rock climbing! We had to post pone our first rock climbing adventure because of the rainy weather. Cool, Abbotsford. But it was well worth the wait! We all managed to at least get onto the rock walking away with minor wounds. My best advice: don't put your hand in between the rope and a hard place (the rock). It doesn't end well. At least I can say I am hard core now with my Freddy Kruger look alike hand scars. WOO! Bonus points.

On our out days, we are encouraged to think of how the day's activity relates to our spiritual journey. Looking at rock climbing, there are a lot of parallels to our life with God. A simple one that comes to mind is: some people make it look easy, but once it is your turn up to bat, it almost seems impossible. We can very easily stand on the outside and watch other people walk with God. Looking at them and thinking it is a simple task. When in reality, it is not as simple as it seems. Some people have an easier time with it because of their experience already. But we aren't going to get anywhere by just standing around and watching. These people who have more experience can help us along our journey. They can stand by and give us direction. They can help us reach the top. They can strap us in and say "climb on" because that's the only way you're going to get anywhere. You can't reach the top unless you put in a little effort, fear and trust in of your own.

There are many obstacles that are going to come in the way and sometimes we are just going to need to ask for help from people who have been there before or who have a different view on things. These are the people who are going to catch us if we fall. God has placed people in our lives who have been there before because He doesn't want us going through this alone. He is the rope holding us up and He has placed the rope in other people's hands to help pull you up and let you go when the need fits.

Today, I got ready to take a stab at the harder climb. I admitted I was a bit scared. But the encouragement I got from my fellow lifeteamers gave me the push I needed to get strapped in and start. Well, I crash and burned quite quickly, scarring up my hand with a fresh flesh wound (it's just a scratch, calm down mom). But I was caught. I didn't fall far and I know for next time I might be able to go further. And I know for next time I will have the encouragement and support of my team.

I did make it to the top, on a different climb, and the feeling of accomplishment was amazing-as.

In the wise words of Rob Snair:
"Being scared is good because then it gives you something to be courageous about"