I love Jesus. I love my God. I love my faith. I love the fact that I live under the power of grace. I love that every day I can wake up knowing that the Lord has made that day. I love how He loves me. I love how He provides for me. I love my faith and that is why the fact that I don't have this in common with my family, breaks my heart.
I just got back from an amazing weekend at Camp Imadene. I am seriously so incredibly blessed to have a place where I can worship and see others worship God so strongly. Every time we are in chapel I can't help but think how much God is smiling down on us, watching the countless young people raising their arms in praise to our Savior King.
We were extra blessed this weekend to have youth pastor John Thwaites come in and speak. His story struck so many similarities in mine. Like him, I also grew up in the Catholic light. Like him, I also had my fair share of partying. Like him, I want to minister to youth. I got to speak with him a little bit on how to start a life in pastoral work and what he did to get where he is today. He gave me some tips and told me to keep in contact with him which I am so grateful for. Seriously, thanks John!
He was speaking on how we are running. Running in this race. And in this race there will be roadblocks. Roadblocks that keep us from the prize and roadblocks in our walks with God.
Like every time I go to camp, I come home hyped on God. This fire in me burns so strongly and I love to know how strong my faith is and see how much, even if it is a little, my faith has grown with just one little trip to camp. And like every time I come back from camp I want to share some of this good news with my family. But when I hear my grandma say "that's enough religious talk, I don't believe in it and I just don't understand it", it hits me hard. Roadblock.
Lately I have been feeling super attacked by the enemy. He knows my faith is growing and getting stronger each and every day and that scares him. He wants to take me down. He also knows he can get to me through my family. It has been hard. I know God has been opening doors for me and giving me the opportunities I've prayed for. I thought I was really getting somewhere with my grandpa. He's been so keen on learning more about my faith and I have so much certainty in my heart that he believes there is a God up there. He asked me himself to say grace. He told me himself that he believes as a doctor, he is being used by God. "One of God's agents" were his exact words. You can't imagine the smile on my heart when I heard that. You can't imagine how quickly it was taken away by the "I don't believe in it and I just don't understand it". Roadblock.
I would love so strongly for my family to share this passion with me. There is no doubt in my mind that God will put this passion in their hearts. But until then, my heart is hurting for them. I am constantly praying and constantly trying to witness. Who knows when their hearts will soften. It could be tomorrow. It could be a year from now. Or it could be on their death beds. But until then, I will continue to pray. Continue to try and get God's word to them.
God is so powerful and so strong. He will not let the Godly slip and fall. He will not forsake or leave us. He is working in me and I have complete faith in Him. He will turn this around. He will. But for right now, my heart is breaking. For right now, I have to be still and wait on God. For I am in this battle and I have been equipped with the tools, but it is God who does the changing. He is on my side.
Exodus 14:14
"The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."
