As we grow up we learn that the one person who was never supposed to let us down probably will. 

You'll have your heart broken and you'll  break other's hearts. 

You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them and you'll forget that time is flying by.

 Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. 

You just need to live your life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off.

 Speak it out, be sincere and say it with conviction and never forget where you came from, cause when you do, it's a long road home...

--Unknown




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Suicide

I had my first dealing with a suicide threat.

It happened just the other day. It was almost instinctive. Go into help mode. What can I do? How can I rescue? What do I say?

I didn't realize the aftermath. I didn't realize how I would be affected by it. Shaken up.

Growing up, I had my ups and downs, but for the most part I was a generally happy kid. A happy teenager. I had great friends, I was smart, I did extra curricular activities, I had a job. Life was good. I didn't have a perfect life. I had a few family struggles. I was bullied a bit. But I never let it take over my life. I was always positive and only focused on what I was blessed with. I have been blessed.

I had friends who had struggles. None of them threatened to take their own life. I knew it was a thing. I knew teenagers my age dealt with depression and suicidal thoughts. I knew kids struggling with bullying, sexuality, family problems, school problems, relationship problems would take their own life. But never did I think it would become a "thing".

After graduating, I heard a kid from my high school, who was well loved and well known, took his life because of the inner struggles he had and though he had a great group of friends, he felt lost, sad and alone. All I thought was I can't imagine feeling like there is absolutely no way out other than death. 

I wish I could say I understand. But I don't. It breaks my heart daily that these thoughts are so strong in so many of teenagers lives today. That feeling of "it would be so much easier to just be done" is huge and living inside an unimaginable amount of our teenagers. The pressures of growing up and getting through high school are huge in this day and age and it seems like more and more kids feel lost and helpless.

I walked away from the situation feeling scared, sad and hopeless. I just want to cry out to these kids, YOU ARE LOVED. They are so loved. We are so loved. You are so loved. I just want to shake them and make them look up and see hope, love, faith, joy in immeasurable amounts. I just want to make love a tangible and visible thing to hand out and spread all over their lives so they can just see it flowing through them and into them. But I can't. The only thing I can do is talk to them. And share this:

No matter who you are, what you did, where you're from...  you are LOVED. By me, by your teachers, by your friends, by your elders, by GOD. YOU ARE LOVED. 

There is hope.

John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life"

#LT14ROAR

I know, I know, I know... It's been forever. I'M SORRY OKAY?! I realized just how long it has been when I looked back at my last post and noticed it was from June 22.... ellllll this is awkward.

Let's start fresh, shall we? Okay, great! Here we go...

Well, it's been over a month since I started my journey with Lifeteams.

Because it has been so long, so much has happened and it would take me a novel to explain all that is going on (my bad). But here are some snippets:
- All day silence with God (brilliant, if you don't do this already I strongly encourage you to)
- Ministry observation
-Embarrassment
- Repelling
- Hikes
- People helping classes
- Placement with high school kids and after school programs
- Mentoring
- Retreat to Chilliwack Lake
- Worship jams
- Book club
- Notebook watching (and crying)
- Small groups
- Leaf jumping and hill rolling
- Coffee
- Naps

Okay, now that we're all caught up let's get to the nitty gritty. Mondays are our days to do an outdoor activity. Today's activity was rock climbing! We had to post pone our first rock climbing adventure because of the rainy weather. Cool, Abbotsford. But it was well worth the wait! We all managed to at least get onto the rock walking away with minor wounds. My best advice: don't put your hand in between the rope and a hard place (the rock). It doesn't end well. At least I can say I am hard core now with my Freddy Kruger look alike hand scars. WOO! Bonus points.

On our out days, we are encouraged to think of how the day's activity relates to our spiritual journey. Looking at rock climbing, there are a lot of parallels to our life with God. A simple one that comes to mind is: some people make it look easy, but once it is your turn up to bat, it almost seems impossible. We can very easily stand on the outside and watch other people walk with God. Looking at them and thinking it is a simple task. When in reality, it is not as simple as it seems. Some people have an easier time with it because of their experience already. But we aren't going to get anywhere by just standing around and watching. These people who have more experience can help us along our journey. They can stand by and give us direction. They can help us reach the top. They can strap us in and say "climb on" because that's the only way you're going to get anywhere. You can't reach the top unless you put in a little effort, fear and trust in of your own.

There are many obstacles that are going to come in the way and sometimes we are just going to need to ask for help from people who have been there before or who have a different view on things. These are the people who are going to catch us if we fall. God has placed people in our lives who have been there before because He doesn't want us going through this alone. He is the rope holding us up and He has placed the rope in other people's hands to help pull you up and let you go when the need fits.

Today, I got ready to take a stab at the harder climb. I admitted I was a bit scared. But the encouragement I got from my fellow lifeteamers gave me the push I needed to get strapped in and start. Well, I crash and burned quite quickly, scarring up my hand with a fresh flesh wound (it's just a scratch, calm down mom). But I was caught. I didn't fall far and I know for next time I might be able to go further. And I know for next time I will have the encouragement and support of my team.

I did make it to the top, on a different climb, and the feeling of accomplishment was amazing-as.

In the wise words of Rob Snair:
"Being scared is good because then it gives you something to be courageous about" 

One Year Later

Well friends, it's been a year. A year since I was crying in an airport. A year since I was saying good bye to so many important people in my life. A year since I was standing on Australian soil. 1 whole year since I got on a plane, said goodbye to Australia and hello to Canada once again.

I am so bewildered to look back and really reflect on how fast time moves. On how much we really do need to stop, look around and take it all in. Because in the blink of an eye, we could miss so much. It feels like just yesterday I was exploring beautiful beaches. Just yesterday I was scuba diving. Just yesterday I was hearing "mate" and "how ya going?" Every single day of my life. HECK! Just yesterday I was petting a kangaroo. Not a single day goes by that I don't think about the amazing people I met, things I saw, experiences I lived. Though when I look back, it all feels like a dream.

It is awesome that I have all these memories and pictures I can reminisce on. But sometimes I get too caught up in the past. Sometimes I lose myself in the adventures of Australia that I forget to look ahead at my future and just live in the day that it is. I get caught up in what was and completely forget about the now. I find myself more concerned about missing it and wanting it back than remembering it.

I have such an amazing future ahead of me and even right here, right now, my life is so blessed. I am sitting in India. I mean how crazy is that?!? YOLO y'know?

I loved every minute that I was in Australia. I loved the people, the places, the life. And as much as I want it back, that's not what is for me right now. I have so much more living to do. So many more adventures to go on. I have an amazing program I am attending in September. I have amazing people in my life. I have so much to look forward to. And that is what I have to do. Look forward, not look back. Because although the past was so incredible, it's isn't now anymore. I have no doubt that I will go back to Australia one day, I will. But that is a whole other adventure to live. Live differently.

Australia, you were amazing. From Melbourne to Sydney, Brisbane to Perth, the heavenly beaches of the Whitsunday islands to the exotic animals of Mooloolaba, the winding roads of the great ocean road to the penguins of Phillip island. From the late night walks to k-mart to all-day-church Sundays, tram rides to zip lines, scuba diving to beach lounging, driving on the wrong side of the road to how I met your mother marathons, nan fan reunions to footy games. Did I mention I went to school there too?

I will never forget all the people I met, made unforgettable friendships and shared tears with. The people I met and reunited with are really who made my Australia life so unbelievably incredible. You all know who are and always remember this: you all have scuba special place in my heart. I will never ever forget the time spent with each and every one of you. Thank you so much for making my dream a reality. Thank you so much for making Australia amazing-as. 

INDIA

Well, it's official. 1 week and I am off to India! Holy camoli! I didn't even realize how quickly this was going to happen. It was just 6 months ago we started planning this, and just 6 months ago we were saying "HOLY! We go to India in 6 MONTHS!!" Now it is just one short, teeny, tiny week away from us taking off from this cold Canadian island. The amount of disbelief in how quickly this happened is actually astounding. Not to mention I haven't even been in Canada a full year yet and I am leaving it again already. Love you Canada.

So here is the game plan:

-We leave Vancouver on May 29th at 1:20 pm and are flying through Shanghai and we arrive in New Delhi on May 31st at 1:35 am! (early morning start, but less traffic. You win some you lose some y'know?) My wonderful friend Sahil will be picking us up at the airport to take us to our hotel.

- We are going to be in New Delhi for 5 days spending time touring and helping out where we can.

-We then leave for Agra to start our official volunteer work at the Mother Teresa Orphanage. We will be there for 3 weeks or so.

- Then it is off to Varanasi to do some more touring and helping out for about a week

- Then we will jet off to Nepal to start our volunteering with elephants in Chitwan. We will be in Nepal for the remainder of our journey.

- Then it is back to New Delhi on the 30th of July where we will fly straight home!

PHEW! This journey is going to go by so QUICKLY! But we (Stacie, Mary and I) are so excited to see the work God will do with us while we are there. 

There are a few things I am a little bit worried about. If you talked to me a while back, you may have know I was extremely terrified to go. So much so the thought of leaving would stress me out a bunch and give me extreme anxiety. But God, being the cheeky monkey He is, told me over and over again "DO NOT BE AFRAID!" Seeing quotes almost everywhere of  "He knew we would be afraid, that we would doubt. That's why He tells us again and again in the bible, 'FEAR NOT'" and "Fear and faith cannot coexist" - supplied by pastor Christine Caine #liveundaunted. And not to forget Isaiah 41:10

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." 

Not to mention our church is behind us 100%. Supporting us with prayer and continuous encouraging words of wisdom and inspiration. We are so blessed to have such a wonderful church to back us up on this. God certainly does not want me to fear, so who am I to question Him? He will protect us. He will guide us. I have complete faith in this. 

The second uncertainty I had was the concern of my health. Some of you may not know this, but I have recently been diagnosed with narcolepsy. I allow you to take a moment here to giggle to yourself quietly.

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Moment is over. 

So with all the experimenting with different medications, I was fearing that I wouldn't find one that would work before my trip. But thankfully, as God is so good, I managed to find a medication that worked just in time. Now I wont fall asleep on little children while I am playing with them! YAY! Praise the Lord!

Now all there is left to do is go. With just my backpack, friends, faith and little travel butterflies I am all set! I am so excited to watch God move and to see His presence so strongly where we go! I am so excited for this amazing adventure we have ahead of us. Mary and Stacie, strap on your seat belts  because this journey is going to be amazing-as. 

If you are interested in keeping up with our trip follow our blog here:

http://blog.travelpod.com/travel-blog/cmsindia/1/tpod.html

For updates from me, Stacie and Mary as our journey unfolds. We will be updating this as much as we can so follow! We will be posting our blogs on Facebook too! 

Life, oh, beautiful life

There are only certain times I will use text acronyms. When I am trying to be funny. When I am making fun of texting. When I am actually too lazy to say the words (yes say, I not only just use acronyms in certain situations, I also speak them.) And when I am EXTREMELY excited. Friends, I can truly say this is an OH-EM-GEE moment.

I GOT ACCEPTED INTO LIFETEAMS!!!

WOOOOOOHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Now, I found this out a little while ago, but never blogged about it. Until now. So a good majority of you who are my friends already know this. BAHHH! I am just so ecstatic!!

Lifeteams is a youth ministry and outreach program based in Abbotsford, BC. It is a discipleship program as well as a mentorship, practicum and college type course program thingy. I am going to be starting in September. Mondays are volunteer/outdoor days. Tuesdays and Thursdays are classroom days. Wednesday and Fridays are practicum days. One of the reasons I am so excited is because they only accept 8-10 students a year and I was one of them, so I feel pretty dang special. Another reason is that I know this is something God wants me to do.

 I have been waiting (and so has He) to start doing something for God. I was stuck in business, just pluttering along, not really know why I was there, but knowing that I knew I was going to get a job when I was done. The question I kept asking myself was "Do I really want to do this for the rest of my life? Am I really going to enjoy the job that comes out of this? Am I going to be making a difference?" and the answer was always "No."

So finally, FINALLY! I am doing something that I know I will enjoy. I know I am going to be making a difference. And it is the first step into the field I want to go. (If you didn't know already it is human trafficking prevention and rehabilitation specifically in girls aka youth). I want to bring the worthiness of God to those who feel worthless. I want to bring the hope of God to those who feel hopeless. I want to bring the love of God to those who feel loveless.

I am so excited to start this new chapter, new season and new journey of my life. I am so excited to just soak up our amazing Saviour each and every day for 8 whole months. Glorifying Him, working for Him, and learning from Him. This is going to be a season that is amazing-as.

I need to pray more.

 I need to remember that God loves me so much and He is really all I need. 

He PROVIDES

I don't have to waste weeks, days, minutes or seconds feeling down because I have a Saviour who rescued me.

Saved my life. 

Took my burdens on a cross. 

Died for me.

So that I can live freely.

So that I can live joyfully. 

So that I can know how much He, my Lord of Lords, loves me.

Oh, how He loves me.