Starting Fresh

Just recently I was left with a whole new canvas to paint. My best friend moved back home for good, I moved out of the place I called home for the past year and a half, leaving all my friends behind. I have stepped out of my norm and it isn't easy. It is safe to say- and you can ask anyone who knows me- I am not good with change. I have trouble re-adapting myself. I have trouble escaping the easy and finding the new. The last few years have been a roller coaster ride. I have graduated, started off university, switched degrees, moved, met so many great friends and said that many more good-byes and thats just the tip of the iceberg. To most people these things may not seem like a big impact on a life. To most people these things seem petty and just a way of life. But to me- and again ask anyone who knows me- these things are my life. I get trapped in the norm of things and get used to what is easy. Then when it is time to change, and lets be honest it always happens, I feel like it's the end of the world. I have to start new and things are going to be different. These changes are so hard for me. I never know what I want and I never know what is going to make me happy. I was happy with the old ways, I was happy in the easy. Now it is time to start fresh. New house, new friends, new classes, new relationships. It is going to be hard, but hopefully in the end I come out stronger with a better appreciation for change. There is nothing I can do to stop change I can only accept it as it comes. Knowing this makes me choke up and resent all the people that caused the change. But taking a double thought I know it is a way of life and no one is going to be stuck in one place forever. No one is going to be living in their norm. Life moves and changes and we all experience different things. We all want to look back on our lives and be happy with all our decisions and adventures. Being stuck in the norm wont give you that happiness. You have to take the risk, live up to the challenge and as hard as it may be, go with the change. It is tough for me but I have no doubts that my life will live out to being amazing.

Live Music

Anything can happen. I am so fortunate to have such a great location so close to me where I can go to to listen to live music performed by amazing artists. The Duncan Garage Showroom has come to be one of my favourite places to go. The talent there is so rich. The entertainment is so intimate and anything can happen. I've seen performances from some of my newly favourite artists such as Said the Whale, Aiden Knight, Hannah Georgas, Jeremy Fisher, Behind Sapphire, Steph Mcpherson and just recently Dan Mangan. It was my friends 19th birthday and to her luck and ours Dan Mangan was playing. He is such a talented artist and close to home too. I love local music and - not to sound horrible- struggling artists. They have so much talent because they have to to get anywhere. They don't have the means to pay for that crappy auto tune and they aren't getting famouse because their daddies are paying for it. They are purely talented from the soul out. Watching your favourite song live is like Christmas times ten. The best. It gives you a new appreciation for that song and makes you remember all the reasons why you fell in love with it in the first place. Along with live music entering your soul and embracing every single touch receptor in your body, anything can happen. I am talking anything. Nose flutes, random jokes, sing alongs, audience interaction- you name it. Such an amazing feeling when you can see your favourite song being sung right in front of you and you are asked to sing along right with it and if you are lucky- asked to harmonize. Robots need love too, they want to be loved by you.

Cassia Stories

I come from a very entertaining past. My friends and I would spend all of our free time in full roars of gut splitting laughter. We would do ridiculous things. We made news broadcasts, silly pictures... bunny tales. You name it. It was fun. On top of all these things, I would sometimes be the butt of the joke when I would tell my infamous "Cassia Stories". Theses stories are pointless with no absolute meaning what so ever. They were so bad that in grade nine my science teacher banned me from telling stories. To this day I still cannot tell a full filled story. But they do make for amazing jokes.

"One time my brother built a snowman in the driveway and I told my dad to run over it but he didn't" THE END :)

Mondays you don't have to do anything

I know how it is. I used to be one of them. Struggling to open your eyes. Hitting the alarm clock 5 or 6 times before dragging your half asleep corps out of bed. Desperately hoping by some fluke, school would be cancelled, work would be postponed or the Zombie Apocalypse would hit. Mondays are the worst. It is the start to a very lonnnnnnnggggg week of work. The end of a luxurious lazy weekend. I used to dread Mondays. My kryptonite. But I got lucky. This semester I was able to manage skipping Mondays. No school. Extra long weekend. I lay in bed, listen to music. Get nothing done day. I love it. Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end, as much as we dread them. Don't worry I will be back to hating Mondays along with everyone else come next semester.

Halloween.

I love Halloween. I love haunted houses. I love its fake scariness. I love everything. Mostly I just love to dress up. My costumes have ranged from Dinosaur all the way to Spice Girls. The exception of a bumble bee for 3 years in a row. I am not proud of my decision, quite frankly, repeating costumes is pathetic. There is no spirit, no fun don't you think? Well any way, this year I had no idea what to be. I lost my way and my creativity was sub par. I don't like being anything "pretty" or above all anything slutty. Many girls find it as an excuse to dress slutty-- not my idea of fun. We had Elton John, Russel Brand, Smarty Pants, a cupcake pinata, a corps bride, Hot Rod and a dirty Mexican (who was indeed actually Mexican) I was cracking my brain trying to think of something cute/silly/fun. Then I found it. Beneath the pile of Sir Elton John and flash dance. A cow. WITH udders. Good right? Oh yeah and the udders said "Hi, milk me" on them . HAHA. Wonderful. UNTIL, I got to the party and found-to my dissapointment- another cow. WITH udders. OH well it is the price I paid for my unimaginative Halloween creation. Regardless I had a wonderful time and let's face it, no matter how hard we try to be a Corps Bride, we will always end up looking like Lindsay Lohan from mean girls. Ha, give her a break. It was her first Halloween. She thought it was amazing.

Hearing your song on the radio

Turn it up, curl a smile, move your hips and start singing along, LOUD! It is your song on the radio!

Hearing someone say I love you when you are having a bad day

Sometimes I have a day of negative Nancy, downer Debby or sad Susan. I don't always know why but on these days all I want to do is curl up in a ball and hate my life. Sometimes I cry or listen to some sad music to make myself cry. Definitely not a fun day in my eyes. On occasion, I will go for a walk to clear my head and try and think up why my life is a glass case of emotion. But nothing ever makes me feel better. It is pretty pathetic how bad I feel for myself for no reason at all. Knowing this I also want people to feel bad for me or comfort me in anyway. But with me not knowing why I feel so down, it is hard for people to help. They say "I am sorry I don't know what to say" "Why do you feel so sad?" "I don't understand, I'm sorry"... "Well if it makes you feel any better, I love you :)" Yes, in fact that does make me feel better. A lot better.